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As a child growing up in a New York ghetto, Martha Steven's was surrounded by crime and violence. Her single mother worked three jobs just to keep her and her brothers fed. Their baby-sitter was the television. Martha was fortunate though to have a school teacher who believed in her. Ms Evans noticed Martha's eyes would light up when it came time to write stories and essays, and she encouraged Martha to allow her imagination to transport her out of the ghetto to faraway places. The teacher provided her with a dream, a belief that she could better herself. Martha continued to write her stories and eventually graduated college and became a travel writer for a major newspaper - because Martha came to believe in herself. Why is it that beliefs have such a profound impact on self-confidence and the self-concept? A simple belief that "I can" translates into ability and achievement. How? Our minds are mysterious, powerful tools when we choose to use them wisely. My book, "Intentional Identity: How to Get Everything You Want in 48 hours" provides some fascinating insights to these and other questions about ourselves, our lives and our abilities. In chapter four, readers begin to understand that beliefs are an integral part of who we are. They help form our character and demonstrate what we stand for - yet often we can offer no explanation for why we believe what we do. Since our beliefs direct our actions - even if we do not fully understand how we arrived at them - they will still direct and drive our lives. Many beliefs are understandably rooted in upbringing and background. During childhood (our dependent stage), parents, family, teachers and peers have great influence over us. We accept beliefs (good or bad) taught us by others without question. We have to. Grown-ups have the thing we need the most at that age - reach. Other factors such as ethnic background, religion, family finances, the media and the events of the external world, all play an important part in establishing a belief system that drives and directs us over the course of our lives as we transition into independence. These voices that affect our beliefs are being downloaded to us continually - good or bad - and there's no anti-virus software to stop them. Some opinions are formed by lack of information or education, such as the folks hundreds of years ago that firmly believed the world was flat. Mariners feared if they sailed to the edge they would fall off or be eaten by dragons! In the 21st century, our technological society is far more flexible, open, and accepting to innovative ideas that force us to rethink our beliefs on an ongoing basis. While we are far more accepting of things we cannot explain, we still occasionally hold on to misconceptions that are convenient to believe, but are neither based on fact nor useful. For instance, a common belief among men is their ability to drive an automobile well. With few exceptions, men sincerely believe that they are extremely skilled and talented in this area, and given a moment's notice, could enter the Indianapolis 500. Any criticism of driving ability is taken badly. Women on the other hand, confidently believe that men cannot do without them - that they would starve and not be able to fend for themselves. Neither belief is based in reality, but both men and women enjoy their paradigms. The human mind is indeed a fascinating and complex machine. Studies tell us we use a mere 10% of our brain, which leaves a massive 90% we know nothing about. Personal development information over the past 30 years, leads us to accept that a strongly held belief about something will bring it into reality. We have no understanding of how this works physically - but we know that our thoughts and beliefs control our actions, and those in turn "magically" bring people and events into our lives that influence and direct our dreams and desires. Do your beliefs support or limit you? Rigid or limited thinking in today's fast-paced world leads to stagnation, and creates poor communication and understanding. It hinders progress in achieving goals, or enjoying satisfying relationships. We have to educate ourselves continually with new information and events, reevaluating our beliefs as we see fit. If we operate on preconceived, out-of-date beliefs, we may jump to inaccurate conclusions that no longer serve us or are even relevant. We are told to believe in ourselves; that our beliefs direct our thoughts and actions; that we cannot move confidently in the direction of our dreams without being congruent and comfortable with ourselves. Until we truly know what we believe in though, how can we believe in ourselves? As explained in my book, defining and understanding your belief system is fundamental to establishing your Intentional Identity( and potential. Since potential in life also depends on the pictures you form in your mind about your abilities, (what you see, you believe, and what you believe, you see) examining beliefs helps you paint clearer pictures and becomes your blueprint for a more rewarding and productive life. Imagine for a moment how differently Elvis' life might have turned out if the picture of himself he had in his mind was the one on velvet. To understand how we arrive at our beliefs. Take a moment to answer these questions What beliefs do I have about..?
What information
did I use to define these beliefs?
Where did I get the ideas, thoughts, or beliefs?
Do your beliefs in
these areas support or defeat you? Is it in keeping with your goals? Are you flexible
enough to change your beliefs given new information or insight? ©2000 Michael Crow, Crow International, San Diego, CA. All Rights Reserved. Michael Crow delivers professional speaking, training, and consulting programs on individual and organizational effectiveness. Michael is the author of the book "Intentional Identity: How to have everything you want in two days...or less! " Michael's core solutions, Change, Influence, and Communications will help your team create effective strategies for maintaining common ground. To obtain the book or schedule Michael Crow to speak at your organization, call 800-488- 4473, or go to www.keynotespeaker.com, e-mail: spkrcrow@keynotespeaker.com |
