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August, 2002 |
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ABOUT FSO |
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About NAIFA |
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Warning: Peace of Mind can be Dangerous
by Charli Lamont Williams,
Personal Success Coach
"It is so quiet around here. Everything is going so well."
"Is it okay for my business to be so easy, my clients so enjoyable?"
"Is it okay for me to have fun, so much of the time?"
These are actual quotes from clients who have been using the tools presented in this column since last May.
An interesting and ñ for me ñ unexpected result of truly gaining peace of mind is that it is so quiet. It is peaceful. There is no upset.
As I experienced this"phenomenon" with a friend, he said: "I know. That's probably why people continue to start wars. Peace is so boring!"
It could be boring; I can see that. However, we won't be bored, if we are conscious of the process and the result which brings us to true peace of
mind.
THE GREAT QUIET. The first thing people seem to notice is the quiet. The negative anxiety-producing mind chatter stops. You know what I mean: That"chatter" in the back of your mind that continually tells you"You need to be doing something else. You are not doing it fast enough. You donít know enough. What if you do it wrong?" and so on. Most of us seem to have it at some time in our lives.
We say we want peace of mind, and then we are surprised and uncertain when we achieve it. The reason is because we have not lived here before, or at least not for a long time. It is unfamiliar, and therefore, sometimes uncomfortable.
Furthermore, peace of mind is not exciting! I had thought that if I could ever achieve peace of mind, I would leap out of bed in the morning, excited about the day ahead and all I would do.
I didn't happen that way. The first thing I noticed was waking up peaceful and happy. Hmmm. What is going on here, I wondered.
Fortunately my clients were having the same types of experiences, so we had a common ground for conversation.
YES, IT IS OKAY TO BE HAPPY. Peace of mind equals contentment equals happiness. We said this is what we wanted, and here we are. Now what?
Look around in your mind and in your thinking. Become aware of the new"space" in which you are living. It is rather like getting comfortable in a new home. You look around, you"try on" the space, you notice what works and what doesn't work as well.
YOU SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY. What once was a"trail to be endured" becomes "an exhilarating opportunity." "Of course I can," and"I will find a way" become mantras in your new thinking. "Look what I have accomplished! Now what else would I like to accomplish?"
What a marvelous platform for creativity, no matter what your career path. When your energies are no longer focused on worry doubt and fear, imagine how much more productive you will be.
OLD PATH/NEW PATH UPDATE: I first introduced the tool I call Old Path/New Path in this column in October 2000 (see archives). People who use it consistently throughout the day have changed their entire point of view about life in just a matter of weeks. Because it is so powerful, I will review it here, and give also give you some addition information.
Get a piece of paper, or a post-it note, and draw a capitol letter Y. Label the left-hand fork"Old Path" and the right-hand fork"New Path." The old path represents your non-supportive thoughts. Any thoughts such as doubt, fear, worry, etc., are old path thinking.
The New Path - the right path - is supportive thinking, the thoughts which support you in getting where you want to go in life, and having what you want to have.
THE KEY TO SUCCESS: The key to the success of the Old Path/New Path tool is the"Stepping Stones of Gratitude." So now draw some small circles between the two forks, from the Old Path to the New Path.
A Stepping Stone is anything you are willing to be grateful for. For example, you could be grateful that you have enough intelligence to be in the business you are in. You could be grateful that you have a business suit to wear, that you have a car to drive to work, or that you are smart enough to ride the bus. You could be grateful that you have had clients in the past. Anything will do, as long as you are willing to be grateful.
THE SHIFT IS INSTANTANEOUS. Because you can only focus on one thought at a time, the minute you focus on gratitude, your focus is off of the Old Path! It really is that simple. Then you take another step - something else you feel grateful for - and another step, and so on. Pretty soon you will find yourself on the New Path.
One day, after I had been using this tool for a few weeks, I had a very clear visual impression of myself on the Stepping Stones, just about to step onto the New Path. I looked over my shoulder (in my mind's vision) to make sure the Old Path was still there. After all, it had been my> "home" for years. Then I stepped onto the New Path and never went back.
Then I got sick.
I was so sick; I had to cancel client appointments - something I hadn't done in eight years. This was the perfect opportunity for moving back to the Old Path: I was sick, I was letting people down, I should be stronger, and so on. I tried to feel badly about myself. I really, really tried!
But by this time I had lived on the New Path for so long, I couldn't even find the Old Path. It was so overgrown from lack of use, it had disappeared from my thinking.
(In case you are wondering: I was completely healthy again in about 18 hours. No lingering illness for me!)
UPDATE: What happens in the thinking after the shift occurs seems to be similar for all of us using the tools. Instead of going to"worry doubt and fear" in our thinking, we simply go to"quiet." Quiet is that place of peace. Not upset; not fear and not excitement: Just quiet.
"Quiet" is now where my Old Path used to be.
SUMMARY: I suggest you draw your capitol letter Y on several post-it notes and stick them everywhere. Do this to remind yourself to use the tool as you go through your day.
Whenever you find yourself thinking non-supportive thoughts, you are on the Old Path. Stop what you are doing for a moment. Look at the particular situation and ask yourself what you could be grateful for, in this situation. Continue with gratitude until you find yourself on the New Path.
It really is that simple.
Visit my work book site or my coaching site to start creating your own success!!
Charli Williams, founder of Lamont Williams in Orange County California, has been a Personal Success Coach for more than a decade. She is an author, lecturer, columnist and radio talk show personality. She also serves on the Board of Directors for the Orange County Association of Health Underwriters. She develops custom tailored programs for entrepreneurs, designed to move each person along their path to success.
Lamont Williams operates under the philosophy that just as Olympic athletes have private coaches to help them fine-tune their abilities, so too should business people have a coach to help them reach their goals more easily.
Lamont Williams clients are varied. Current participates include engineers, financial and estate planners, physicians, top insurance producers, educators, loan consultants, real estate agents and sales representatives. The Coaching Program enables individuals to develop clear, detailed plans resulting in success on a consistent basis, and more time in their lives for relationships, fun and relaxation. Charli helps her clients formulate and achieve their Ideal Lifestyle. This Ideal Lifestyle is not only limited to business; it carries over into personal life as well.
Charli, through her unique visualization techniques, has achieved her own Ideal Lifestyle. The tools and techniques used produce success more easily, eliminating the old fashion concept of the need for "hard work."
The Coaching Programs are very "person specific." That is, they are tailored to fulfill the needs of each individual, rather than the individual needing to fit the program. The programs enable people to develop clear, detailed plans resulting in more income on a consistent basis. Living a balanced, successful life is the ultimate goal.
The Coaching Programs from Lamont Williams include: Private Coaching, on an individual basis; Coaching for Team Synergy, for groups; and other custom designed training's. Her workbook, Creating Your Own Success,is a step-by-step guide to achievement.For more information, please call our offices at 800-500-1551
E-mail Lamontwm@pacbell.net or Fax (714) 389-3038.
